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| Parc de Ciutadella |
Yesterday we watched the sun get swallowed up by the Barcelona orange sky at Parc de Ciutadella, a park that is home of a zoo, museums, a small lake, the Parliament of Catalonia, and endless green space where all the free spirits gather to sing, dance, smoke, eat, paint.
Yesterday we sat in a cafe and drank wine in the middle of the afternoon, took pictures, and walked across the always lively city. I felt my first wave of melancholic homesickness, but it didn't last very long. I am beginning to fall in love with the crowded streets. I am beginning to fall in love with the train rides. I am beginning to fall in love with the idea of being permanently lost.
I have met the most kind-hearted human beings here and have forgotten what it felt like to feel trapped. I feel free and independent in my surroundings and within myself.
At times it feels so surreal that I have to keep reminding myself to be awake and present and embrace it. No matter where I am or what I'm doing. However, there are moments where I start to feel and start to miss things from my past and memories I can't erase but it comes and goes in passing waves and heaves around me.
I am learning to embrace the now and realize that it's okay to yearn for something that I cannot have in this very moment but can live without. I am living for myself this year. Someone said I needed to leave to find myself, and they were right. I needed to experience the captivating and extraordinary way of life in a different place. I needed to surround myself with people who appreciate the same things that I do and to escape somewhere I felt I didn't belong. I needed to adjust myself to a new way of life and mold myself to fit into my surroundings, to do things differently, to wake up early in the morning for yoga rather than in the middle of the afternoon to sulk. To allow myself to get lost in a big city that I am not used to and not be afraid of it.
And yes, I can adjust my mind to think like this anywhere. But the experiences are not the same. I am not finished with seeing the world or discovering myself in every single part of it.
Tomorrow, I head to London!
